As many people who are reading this are, I am a member of Facebook, which is great for keeping in touch with old friends and relatives. For any of my relatives and friends who are reading this, I do not mean that you are old, well not all of you, but let's face it most of us are over 40 now.
One particular friend of mine posted a comment last night that made me really question the benefit of helping others and really bothered me to the point of wanting to explore her actions in print.
She is a childminder and found one of her ex-charges who had been with her for a long time, pleading with her after school. She was due to attend an after-school club but really did not want to go and would rather have gone home. She was begging to be taken home instead. My friend, who is one of the most caring I know and who has always loved the children that she cared for as her own, gave in and took her home.
These spur of the moment decisions can be made through the best of intentions and let's face it in that situation, how long can you deliberate? She was, however, greeted by an extremely annoyed mom, who grabbed the child and frog-marched her into the house without even giving my friend a second glance. A nice gesture goes up in flames.
The question is how would you have acted? Perhaps you had a serious piece of work that needed to be finished and the arrival of an eleven year old would have complicated that or you would have been grateful that your child was not left upset at the school and wanting to walk home on her own.
It is very difficult to do right sometimes. Should that really stop us trying to do anything? I think of the example recently of the man that was left to die in the street for two hours with people just walking past him. This prompted a radio programme to reveal that many people had actually been left lying on a street, trying to avoid people stepping on them. How can we have become a society when people are so scared to act? The case of the baby left on the beach to burn and the interference that followed also raised alarm bells. Should the mother have been interfered with or should the baby have been left to become badly injured because people do not like to get involved?
The answer is many people do whatever they believe is right at the time. When my father was a boy, the whole street would interfere in the upbringing of kids and he would quite happily have received a meal from any of his neighbours. Have we gone too far due to the problems of CRB checks, ambulance chases and press coverage of such issues? Let's hope there are still some decent people out there who are prepared to take action for the right reasons.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
Friday, 30 April 2010
Top of the Class
Our family recently took part in a BBC World Service documentary investigating whether the UK was still a hive of class strife. The kids were excited that the BBC were coming. The two BBC representatives Nina and Claire remained 'The BBC' to my kids for the whole afternoon and even brought chocolate back from the shop to give to 'The BBC'.
The child reaction compared to the adult reaction was particularly interesting. My daughter wanted to know where her photo would be shown and would happily pose as soon as the camera came out. My son hid in his bedroom as much as possible and refused to talk to 'The BBC'. However both were very excited. I think the lack of cameras did shock my daughter who is still awaiting her first catwalk pose at the age of 5.
The adults, my other half and I were filled with trepidation. Would they twist our words? Would they make us look stupid? Will our house look a mess? However, it was interesting to get involved and to be part of the creative process. I must say we did keep the whole thing quiet until we had had a chance to listen just in case of the above.
I need never have worried as my two hours of conversation ended up on the editing floor. So much for my words of wisdom! My other half, however, became a bit of a media lovey and was quite a star. Was I jealous, sure as hell I was? However, being true to my origins I would never admit that the green-eyed monster had caught me. Not to my dear hubby of course although he is now milking it for all he is worth and therefore I simply said 'my accent was not right'.
My reluctant son was upset because he did not appear on the final shots on the websites but as he spent most of his time locked on his PSP with his mate or skateboarding down to the shop to spend the money I gave him for bread on chocolate, it was hard to catch him. My daughter posed her heart out and managed to get in on the act. My double chins also showed up and star hubby looked as though he was scared to death. in the shots.
It was a good programme though and the production was well put together. It was amazing to have us, we would consider ourselves to be of no class, portrayed as middle class and the only reason I believe is that we both work in non-manual work and went on to further education. Just think the Queen and Prince Philip only fulfill one of those criteria. It would be interesting to see how the rest of the World would consider the class system in the UK. We thought it had all but disappeared although apparently it is alive and well from both the supposedly upper class and working class contributors. It would be interesting to look again in 100 years time, perhaps a family like ours would have changed class. Who knows!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0078p7g
The child reaction compared to the adult reaction was particularly interesting. My daughter wanted to know where her photo would be shown and would happily pose as soon as the camera came out. My son hid in his bedroom as much as possible and refused to talk to 'The BBC'. However both were very excited. I think the lack of cameras did shock my daughter who is still awaiting her first catwalk pose at the age of 5.
The adults, my other half and I were filled with trepidation. Would they twist our words? Would they make us look stupid? Will our house look a mess? However, it was interesting to get involved and to be part of the creative process. I must say we did keep the whole thing quiet until we had had a chance to listen just in case of the above.
I need never have worried as my two hours of conversation ended up on the editing floor. So much for my words of wisdom! My other half, however, became a bit of a media lovey and was quite a star. Was I jealous, sure as hell I was? However, being true to my origins I would never admit that the green-eyed monster had caught me. Not to my dear hubby of course although he is now milking it for all he is worth and therefore I simply said 'my accent was not right'.
My reluctant son was upset because he did not appear on the final shots on the websites but as he spent most of his time locked on his PSP with his mate or skateboarding down to the shop to spend the money I gave him for bread on chocolate, it was hard to catch him. My daughter posed her heart out and managed to get in on the act. My double chins also showed up and star hubby looked as though he was scared to death. in the shots.
It was a good programme though and the production was well put together. It was amazing to have us, we would consider ourselves to be of no class, portrayed as middle class and the only reason I believe is that we both work in non-manual work and went on to further education. Just think the Queen and Prince Philip only fulfill one of those criteria. It would be interesting to see how the rest of the World would consider the class system in the UK. We thought it had all but disappeared although apparently it is alive and well from both the supposedly upper class and working class contributors. It would be interesting to look again in 100 years time, perhaps a family like ours would have changed class. Who knows!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0078p7g
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Enjoying time with the kids
I have had the day off today to spend time with the kids while they are enjoying their Easter break. The day was short lived with my eldest leaving at 9:30 am to go for a sleepover, one down, one left to entertain.
We decided upon a morning at the cinema, no surprise for our family. We always seem to be there recently. Nanny McPhee (small c, big P) was a calling and boy was I awailing throughout the film. I started sobbing after about thirty minutes and then let out a major sob at one stage, which I had to stifle for fear of being the only person loudly sobbing at a children's film. When my daughter was jiggling about too much and clearly desperate for the toilet, my two immediate thoughts were:
We decided upon a morning at the cinema, no surprise for our family. We always seem to be there recently. Nanny McPhee (small c, big P) was a calling and boy was I awailing throughout the film. I started sobbing after about thirty minutes and then let out a major sob at one stage, which I had to stifle for fear of being the only person loudly sobbing at a children's film. When my daughter was jiggling about too much and clearly desperate for the toilet, my two immediate thoughts were:
- Can she hold out any longer?
- How red do my eyes look?
In the end the first point took precedence and we ran for the toilets, my daughter practically undressing herself on the way for fear of missing any more of the film. She refused to let me go as it would take to long and we were back in our seats before the end. Trigger, another lot of sobbing on my part. I have to say this was one of the best films I have ever seen. I will expect to see this every Christmas from now on.
After the cinema, a spot of mother/daughter retail therapy took place, me spending more money than I had as usual and realising that once spent, no longer appreciated by child. However, it was nice to get to the shops. I have long been a fan of internet shopping to save money and time so to actually go to a proper shop was a bit of a treat for me and not my bank balance.
We have spent a lovely day together but I do miss them both being together. Entertaining a single child all day is far harder than both children. Perhaps I should have had four or then I may well have needed a bit of help from Emma Thomson and her face would have been truly grim when she crossed the threshold.
Friday, 2 April 2010
How to train a family
Well finally one of the books my son (a dragon lover) and I discovered together has been made into a film. How to Train Your Dragon about Hiccup, the weedy son of a viking chief has been made into a film. Interestingly the film actually bears no resemblance to the book with the exception of the names of the main characters. I have no idea where Astrid and the love interest popped up.
However, it did make my soppy husband cry on a couple of parts particularly with the difficult relationship between father and son. The fact that Hiccup in the film is practically the spitting image of my son, right up to the haircut (homemade and scruffy by me) and the dragon looks just like one of our two black cats made it all too realistic for him. I am sure he was quite relieved to be wearing his 3D glasses.
The relationship was eerily echoed later in the day when a DVD lovingly purchased by said husband did not receive the joyful response he had been hoping and father/son comradeship showed that it is very difficult to always get on with and understand your own offspring.
Sensitivities on both sides can always cause problems. I know from relationships with my sisters and parents, growing up that it is easy to alternate quickly between best buddies to bitter enemies. At the end of the day, the old saying blood is thicker than water can be severely tested at time. There is a need to work at it as in marriage.
If only it was as easy as resting my hand on one of my children's heads and everything would be alright. I may never be able to train the family but as long as we get on most of the time or understand enough about each other that is all I can ask for at the moment. In the meantime, Father and son are once again united and back to normal. Hiccup and Stoick are friends again!
However, it did make my soppy husband cry on a couple of parts particularly with the difficult relationship between father and son. The fact that Hiccup in the film is practically the spitting image of my son, right up to the haircut (homemade and scruffy by me) and the dragon looks just like one of our two black cats made it all too realistic for him. I am sure he was quite relieved to be wearing his 3D glasses.
The relationship was eerily echoed later in the day when a DVD lovingly purchased by said husband did not receive the joyful response he had been hoping and father/son comradeship showed that it is very difficult to always get on with and understand your own offspring.
Sensitivities on both sides can always cause problems. I know from relationships with my sisters and parents, growing up that it is easy to alternate quickly between best buddies to bitter enemies. At the end of the day, the old saying blood is thicker than water can be severely tested at time. There is a need to work at it as in marriage.
If only it was as easy as resting my hand on one of my children's heads and everything would be alright. I may never be able to train the family but as long as we get on most of the time or understand enough about each other that is all I can ask for at the moment. In the meantime, Father and son are once again united and back to normal. Hiccup and Stoick are friends again!
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Getting Starting
Here it is my first entry, one Saturday night, other half out and kids in bed, watching St Trinians. How good does it get? Well quite good actually. I have facebook; only been on my work emails once tonight. Pretty good going. I would add a bit of vino to the mix but still recovering from my mini hangover this morning after my bring and share evening with the girls and Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Let me introduce myself to you. I have two delightful, (well most of the time), children and a would be musician husband, currently working as an accountant and has been for the last eighteen years. He is on the verge of stardom though and first single out this month, just after his fourtieth birthday. I am waiting for the royalties to start rolling in! He managed to woo me with his guitar playing and now I trip over the damn things in the dining room. Had to hide them with a sheet prior to afore-mentioned evening with the girls.
I am a typical corporate mom. At the office by eight so I can be back for my little darlings early. I have worked for large companies for years including one accountancy firm, although best not spoken about, am still recovering from my 6 months there and still double, triple checking everything. Does OCD develop after most people work for a Big 3 firm or is it just me? I also run a website for working parents, am on the PA and quite simply need to learn to say no.
My hard work begins in the afternoon, swimming lessons, Rainbows, music lessons, the lot - I do it all and would not have it any other way, except considerably easier. I intend to share my experiences with you, whether you like it or not, although I hope you do. Sorry must break off now, Colin Firth is in bed with Rupert Everett, surely this cannot be! Not only that but Russell Brand is almost attractive with a German accent.
Let me introduce myself to you. I have two delightful, (well most of the time), children and a would be musician husband, currently working as an accountant and has been for the last eighteen years. He is on the verge of stardom though and first single out this month, just after his fourtieth birthday. I am waiting for the royalties to start rolling in! He managed to woo me with his guitar playing and now I trip over the damn things in the dining room. Had to hide them with a sheet prior to afore-mentioned evening with the girls.
I am a typical corporate mom. At the office by eight so I can be back for my little darlings early. I have worked for large companies for years including one accountancy firm, although best not spoken about, am still recovering from my 6 months there and still double, triple checking everything. Does OCD develop after most people work for a Big 3 firm or is it just me? I also run a website for working parents, am on the PA and quite simply need to learn to say no.
My hard work begins in the afternoon, swimming lessons, Rainbows, music lessons, the lot - I do it all and would not have it any other way, except considerably easier. I intend to share my experiences with you, whether you like it or not, although I hope you do. Sorry must break off now, Colin Firth is in bed with Rupert Everett, surely this cannot be! Not only that but Russell Brand is almost attractive with a German accent.
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